When Wendy was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2021, she was told she had three to four years to live. She describes her time since that diagnosis as being a roller coaster.
“There are really scary times, parts where you are unsure of what’s coming next or how far away the next uphill climb is and parts where you take a sigh and celebrate the obstacles you have overcome.
You cry, you laugh, you get overwhelmed, and yet somehow you live every moment the best you can. Putting smiles on many faces during your ride, making memories that will last forever and raising awareness of this disease that has turned life upside down and shaken you around. You hope you can help someone else, so maybe they won’t have to go through what you and your loved ones have”
When Wendy first went into remission, she focused on returning to ‘normal life’ as much as possible. Her youngest daughter was only 16 at the time, and Wendy worked hard to provide stability for her family. She prioritised fun activities with her family and friends, like horseback riding and trips to the hot pools.
However, when the cancer came back just nine months later, the news hit her harder than the initial diagnosis. “It felt more real,” Wendy explains. “I realised how difficult this fight was going to be.” Despite this, she remained determined to make the most of her good days.
Wendy has had to make some incredibly difficult decisions during her treatment. One of the hardest was declining a major surgery that could have given her extra time but would have left her with a stoma and a long recovery period. She chose to focus on her quality of life, continuing to ride her horse and spend time with friends and family. It’s a decision she doesn’t regret, as it allowed her to embrace the activities she loved during her remaining time.
Wendy has been surprised by the incredible toll that fatigue has taken on her. She compares it to running a marathon daily without the ability to stop and rest when you choose. “Your body just shuts down, and your mind needs to recover too,” she says. Even simple tasks like answering the phone can become exhausting. It makes planning incredibly difficult as she doesn’t know how much energy she will have on a given day, but with her determined spirit, she always makes the most of every moment that she can, and advises others in her situation to do the same.
Wendy also acknowledges how difficult it is for loved ones to witness her struggle, and makes an effort to think not only of her bucket list but also of her families, so they can have precious memories to hold on to. She takes comfort in knowing her husband and daughters will be there for each other, and will be supported by her close friends. An avid horse lover, Wendy also takes comfort in knowing that her beloved horse will be cared for after she is gone.
As Wendy faces the prospect of months rather than years, she remains determined to help others. She has spoken to groups like the North Canterbury Soroptimists, sharing her story to raise awareness of ovarian cancer and the difficult decisions women have to make when facing the disease.
Her advice to others is practical and heartfelt: accept help when it’s offered, make the most of good days, and focus on what truly matters. “Live when you can,” Wendy says. For her, that means embracing moments of joy, whether it’s a quiet day outside, a ride on her horse, or a family memory that her loved ones can cherish.
We are grateful to Wendy for sharing her experience with ovarian cancer and for helping us raise awareness. If you would like to share your story too, please get in touch.
