HOW TO SUPPORT SOMEONE THROUGH OVARIAN CANCER

It can be difficult to know what to say when someone is diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It’s important to remember that, despite this life-changing experience, they are still the same person you knew before.

Some ways you can help convey empathy and compassion:

Acknowledge the situation with statements like:

• “I’m really sorry to hear what’s happening”
• “I’ve heard what’s happening, that really sucks. I’m here if you want to talk”
• “How are you doing, really?”

These responses show that you recognise they’re going through something out of the ordinary, helping them feel seen and cared for.

Ask open ended questions like:

• “What’s on your mind”
• “How do you feel things are going?”

Actively listen and reflect back the emotions you hear, for example:

• “It sounds like not knowing what was going to happen was really scary”

This shows that you’re paying attention and can help them feel truly heard. Being a good, active listener has enormous value.

Even if they don’t feel like talking at that moment, acknowledging their situation and offering space to talk later can help address the elephant in the room and create space for their emotions.

When you don’t have the words:

Sometimes we just don’t have the words and that’s okay. You don’t have to overthink your responses or feel pressured to come up with all the answers. Simple acts like sitting quietly together, offering a hug, or providing practical support still show you care, which is what matters most. If you’re uncertain about what to say, you could say something like “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you,” which is both honest and clear about your intent.

While it’s natural to want to make things better, it’s important to remember that this is a complex journey without a quick fix.

There are also some things we know that aren’t so helpful to hear. Try to avoid saying things like:

• “Everything happens for a reason”
• “It could be worse”
• “Everything will be okay”
• “Just stay positive”
• “At least it’s not….”

These phrases can make people feel like their situation is being minimised and that their feelings are not valid.

Other less helpful phrases include:

• “My aunt died of cancer”, sharing non-comparable situations may come across as dismissive, and hearing about others’ cancer stories, especially negative ones, can be distressing.
• “You should try…”, if they just want to be heard, offering solutions can feel unhelpful.
• “You’re so strong/brave”, though well-meaning and often true, this may feel patronising, and put a lot of pressure on people to appear resilient.

If conversation is difficult:

For some people, learning someone has ovarian cancer can bring up reminders of past sadness and grief or uncomfortable thoughts about their own mortality. If you find it distressing to hear about someone’s illness, reach out for support (see the ‘looking after you’ section).

Instead of avoiding the topic or the person altogether, communicate your feelings honestly and empathetically: “I find this really hard to talk about, but I want to help and support you in other ways such as…” (see the ‘offering practical support’ section below for suggestions).