2023 started out as an amazing year. I was pregnant with our third child and looking forward to welcoming them into our busy family. But as the months passed, what I thought was just bloating (which I had experienced on-and-off over the years) became something worrying. During my 12-week scan, my doctors noticed a mass; by my 20-week scan, the mass had grown and was causing some concern. I was referred to an obstetrician (OB), but nobody mentioned the word cancer.
The pain started to get really bad around the time I was 27 weeks pregnant. It was so intense that at one point, doctors thought I was going into labour. I was in and out of the hospital, but they kept saying it was nothing to worry about. I trusted my doctors, but I was scared and confused. Why wasn’t the pain going away?
By 32 weeks, I was begging for a solution. I asked my OB if it could be cancer, and he was almost certain it wasn’t. I wanted to have a C-section, and have the mass removed, but they planned to wait until the baby was full-term to do anything about it. I felt so helpless, I wanted to trust my team, but something felt very wrong.
At 38 weeks my doctor arranged for me to have an induced labour and a natural birth. I wasn’t feeling reassured but I wasn’t given the option of a C-section, so I didn’t feel like I had a choice in the matter.
I was so excited about the birth of my baby, but I also had feelings of uncertainty about the mass that was still inside me. Six weeks after giving birth, everything changed. The mass burst, causing blood poisoning and I had to spend a week on antibiotics before getting surgery to remove the burst mass and my left ovary. Tests confirmed that the mass, which turned out to be a tumour, was stage 3 mucinous ovarian cancer. What was supposed to be a happy time for my family turned into a nightmare.
Five weeks after the emergency surgery to remove the burst tumour, I had another debulking operation, and then treatment started soon after – six rounds of tough chemotherapy and a drug called Avastin. Avastin isn’t funded for mucinous ovarian cancer in New Zealand, so I spent over $30,000 on this treatment in the hope it will help me be around for as long as possible for my family.
"To anyone experiencing symptoms of ovarian cancer or for anyone worried about their health: please, trust your gut."
The side effects of my treatment were harsh. I lost all my hair, including my eyebrows and eyelashes, which was really hard to cope with. I was exhausted and mentally fatigued. I haven’t been able to return to my work, and I feel like I can’t be there for my kids or husband the way I used to be. It has been a hard road, not just for me, but for my family as well.
They have been amazing. My husband has taken on so much, caring for our newborn and our other kids, all while working extra hours. My 13-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son have also been incredible, but they need my support through new experiences and I haven’t been able to be there for them the way I would like.
Ovarian cancer has turned my world upside down. I’m in pain every day, and dealing with menopause on top of everything else is no joke. It’s tough looking okay on the outside while everything inside is a mess. I wish more people understood that just because someone looks good, it doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering.
To anyone experiencing symptoms of ovarian cancer or for anyone worried about their health: please, trust your gut. If something feels wrong, keep asking questions until you get the right answers. I wish I had pushed harder or gotten a second opinion sooner – maybe then my story would be a bit different.
I really appreciate everyone who donates to the Ovarian Cancer Foundation. Funding for research is so important—we need better treatments, and we need them to be accessible. No woman should have to go through what I have.
Ruby sadly passed away on Friday, 6 February 2026. Ruby had a deep love for her family, music, and adventures. Even through the hardest moments of her cancer journey, Ruby chose love, courage, and hope.
We are grateful to Ruby for sharing her experience with ovarian cancer and for helping us raise awareness. If you would like to share your story too, please get in touch.
Ruby's advocacy
On World Ovarian Cancer Day 2025 Ruby gifted a song, Dig Deeper, to OCFNZ, and all women in Aotearoa facing ovarian cancer.
In June 2025 Ruby spoke on Te Karere, sharing her experience being diagnosed, and important advice for women experiencing symptoms.
